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What are Signs of Abuse & Victimization?
While each situation is unique, there are some common indicators that may suggest someone is in an abusive relationship.
Physical signs: Unexplained injuries, frequent bruising, or wearing clothes that cover the body even in warm weather could indicate physical abuse.
Emotional and behavioral changes: Victims of abuse may often exhibit signs of anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, or fearfulness. They may show changes in personality or exhibit extreme mood swings.
Controlling behavior: An abusive partner often exhibits controlling behavior, such as dictating the victim’s actions, isolating them from family and friends, or monitoring their every move.
Constant criticism and insults: Abusers frequently belittle, criticize, or humiliate their partners, undermining their self-worth and confidence.
Financial control: An abusive partner may control all financial resources, limiting the victim’s access to money, employment, or education, therefore making them financially dependent.
Sexual coercion or assault: Unwanted or forced sexual acts, manipulation, or coercion are signs of sexual abuse within an intimate relationship.
Fearfulness and walking on eggshells: Victims may appear constantly afraid or on edge, trying to avoid conflict or doing anything that may trigger their partner’s anger.
Excuses or denial: Victims of abuse may make excuses for their partner’s behavior, downplay the severity of the abuse, or deny that it is happening altogether.
Are You Not Sure If You Are Being Abused? Questions to Ask Yourself
Are You Not Sure If You Are Being Abused? Sometimes it’s hard to recognize our situation is abusive.
Does your partner…
- Embarrass or make fun of you in front of friends or family?
- Constantly putting down your accomplishments or goals?
- Tell you that you are nothing, there is no way out, and that you would not survive without them?
- Makes you feel like you are unable to make decisions about yourself or your family?
- Use intimidation or threats to get you to do what they want you to?
- Treat you, and/or your family members roughly by shoving, grabbing, pinching, pushing, or hitting you?
- Threaten or physically abuse your pets?
- Call you several times a day?
- Show up to verify you are where you said you would be?
- Tell you it was the alcohol or drugs that made them hurt you?
- Blame you or your actions for how they feel or acted?
- Pressures you to have sex/sex acts you don’t want or tell you it’s their right; therefore you don’t have a choice sexually?
- Prevent you from doing things you want, like spending time with your friends and family, going back to school, or joining a group?
- Keep you from leaving after a fight, or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson?”
Do you…
- Frequently make excuses about your partner’s behavior to others?
- Sometimes feel frightened of how your partner will act?
- Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
- Believe that you can help your partner’s behavior by changing yourself to be more careful…more attentive…more “what”?
- Try not to do anything that would cause your partner angry?
- Feel like you must do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
- Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
- Stay with your partner because you don’t know where you would go, who you would be or how would you survive?
What Traits Do Abusers Have in Common?
It is important to note that not all individuals with these traits are abusers, and not all abusers exhibit every trait. Abusers can be of any gender, age, or background. However, they do often display common characteristics.
- An abuser objectifies the victim by seeing them as their property or sexual objects
- They blame their violence on external circumstances such as their partner’s behavior, a “bad day,” stress, alcohol, drugs, or other factors
- An abuser often denies the existence or minimizes the seriousness of the violence on the victim and family members
- An abuser may have low self-esteem and feel inadequate and powerless even though he or she may appear successful to the public
- An abuser is often seen as a “nice person” to others. And between periods of violence, they may be pleasant and charming to their victims
Reach Out for Help
Trained professionals can provide appropriate guidance and assistance, ensuring that your safety and well-being is taken into account. Your safety is the main priority.
If you are in immediate danger and are able to reach out, please call 911.
CALL: For immediate crisis assistance, contact the Someplace Safe Crisis Line:
Someplace Safe 24-Hour Crisis Line: 1-800-974-3359
TEXT: Text message is available during business hours at 844-980-0169.
CHAT: When the chat option is visible, chat with a Someplace Safe staff at www.someplacesafe.info.