Validate their feelings: Acknowledge and validate their emotions. Let them know that their feelings are valid and normal and that they are not alone.

Keep reminding yourself that they have the right to any emotion they are experiencing and expressing, like being numb, sad, angry, in denial, terrified, depressed, agitated, or withdrawn. Being supportive is accepting their feelings. It creates an atmosphere of warmth and safety in which they can rest.

Believe them: Believe their experience, feelings, and story without question. This can be a powerful affirmation that their voice and truth matter.

Listen non-judgmentally: Let them know you want to listen. It does not matter what you say, but how you listen. Create a safe and supportive space for your friend to share their experiences. Let them know you are there to listen without blaming or judging them.

• Let them talk, and do not interrupt.
• Schedule time to focus on the survivor.
• Ask them what they need from you instead of making assumptions.
• Be okay with the stalls, silences, and withdrawal times.
• If they need help to continue talking, try repeating the words they expressed back to them, then ask if you understood them correctly.

Respect their choices: Understand that your friend or loved one may have their reasons for staying in or leaving dangerous, abusive or unsafe situations. Do not pressure them into making decisions or doing things they are not ready for. Help them explore all the options. It is essential to respect their confidentiality. Let them decide who they disclose information to. Respect their choices and avoid pressuring or blaming them for the decisions they make.

Reassure them that they are not to blame: Blaming questions such as, “Why didn’t you scream?” or “Why did you go there?” “Why didn’t you leave earlier” are not helpful. Instead, you might say, “It’s difficult to scream when you are frightened,” or “Getting out of an abusive relationship is very courageous.”

Encourage professional help: Suggest seeking professional help, such as counseling or therapy, to support their healing process. Offer to help them find resources or accompany them to appointments if they feel comfortable.

Safe place to stay: If a survivor needs a place to stay, help them in locating it, whether it be with family, friends, a shelter or another agency. A lot of times, survivors fear where to go, who to trust and how to survive.

Offer practical support: Provide practical assistance if safe and needed, such as babysitting, helping with transportation, or offering a safe place to stay if needed. Offer to accompany them to appointments or court proceedings if it is safe to do so.

Provide information and resources: Share information about local organizations, helplines, or support groups that specialize in assisting survivors of crime or abuse. Help them access resources they may need, such as legal aid or shelter services.

Safety planning: If your friend or loved one wants to leave an unsafe or abusive situation or home, help them create a safety plan. This includes identifying safe places to go, developing emergency contacts, and considering legal and financial aspects.

Take care of yourself: Supporting someone who has experienced abuse can be emotionally draining. Remember to prioritize your own well-being and seek support for yourself as well.

Be patient and remember that healing from crime, abuse and victimization takes time. Your friend may go through various emotional and psychological stages. Be available whenever they need to talk or seek help.

If you believe your friend is in immediate danger, contact local emergency services or the appropriate authorities to ensure their safety.