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Supporting loved ones in their journey to move forward from the trauma of sexual violence, trafficking, or abuse requires patience, empathy, and understanding.
Recognize that healing is a personal and unique journey that takes time. Avoid imposing expectations or timelines on their recovery process. Let them know that you are there for them.
Here are some things to be aware of that survivors may experience in the aftermath of crime:
Trauma Responses: Abuse and violence can have a profound impact on physical, emotional, and psychological well-being. People who have experienced such trauma may exhibit a range of responses, including anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), dissociation, hypervigilance, or difficulty trusting others.
Emotional Impact: Survivors often experience a complex mix of emotions, such as fear, anger, shame, guilt, and self-blame. These emotions can be overwhelming and may impact their self-esteem, relationships, and overall sense of security.
Flashbacks and Triggers: Trauma can trigger vivid and intrusive memories of the abuse or violence. Survivors may experience flashbacks, nightmares, or intense emotional reactions when they encounter reminders or triggers associated with their traumatic experiences.
Trust and Safety: Abuse and violence often erode a person’s trust in others, including close relationships, family, and institutions. Rebuilding a sense of safety and trust is a significant aspect of the healing process.
Coping Mechanisms: Individuals may develop various coping mechanisms to navigate the aftermath of abuse or violence. These coping strategies can be adaptive or maladaptive, such as avoidance, numbing, self-isolation, substance abuse, or self-harm.
Social Stigma and Isolation: Survivors often face social stigma and misconceptions surrounding abuse and violence. This can lead to isolation, as they may fear judgment, disbelief, or lack of support from others. Creating a non-judgmental and supportive environment is crucial for their healing.
Trapped in Cycles: Some individuals may find themselves trapped in cycles of abuse or violence, struggling to break free due to factors such as financial dependence, fear, manipulation, or cultural expectations.
Healing and Resilience: Despite the challenges they face, survivors of abuse and violence can demonstrate extraordinary resilience. It is important to acknowledge their strength, and healing journey, as you support them as they reclaim their lives.
Individual Experiences and Diversity: Each survivor’s experience is unique and shaped by personal, cultural, and socio-economic factors. Respecting this diversity is crucial for providing appropriate and sensitive support.
Trauma-Informed Care: Adopt a trauma-informed approach when working with survivors. This means understanding the impact of trauma, prioritizing safety, providing choices, promoting empowerment, and avoiding re-traumatization through care and communication. This may require you to seek mental professional support in order to deal with your stress and understanding.
By understanding the experiences and challenges faced by abused individuals and those affected by violence, we can extend greater empathy, support, and assistance in their healing process.
Survivors Moving Forward
A fellow survivor of assault wrote these “Tips to Live By – Survive Violence.” Their mission is for each survivor to be heard and know they are not alone.
Print it out, write it down, keep it with you; read it as often and as many times as you want to. It may seem too “logical,” but they are not. Survivors often relive the trauma, and this list is there for you whenever you need it.
Tips to Live By – Survive Violence and Crime
This was not your fault.
No matter where you were, what you were doing, or who you are … this is not your fault.
Almost anything you are feeling is normal.
Different people have different responses. Your feelings may stay the same or change suddenly. If you are worried about your feelings, contact a trusted family member or friend, reach out to an advocate, or a professional.
Talking can help.
Talk to someone, or many people, when you want to. You may talk only to the person/people that YOU want to talk to.
You deserve support.
If someone you talk to doesn’t support your experience or journey, you may seek out other support. You deserve a response from someone who doesn’t want to make your feelings go away.
It’s OK to feel better than not.
Don’t be surprised if you begin to feel better and then difficult feelings come back -fear, anger, confusion, or whatever – because that’s perfectly normal and might be part of your experience for a while.
Get follow-up care.
Make sure you follow up with your healthcare provider for injuries and appropriate testing (pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections (STI’s), etc). Keep in mind STI tests may need up to 6-8 weeks for accurate results. Be sure to consult with your healthcare provider.
It’s important to take care of yourself.
This may be an incredibly difficult time. Remember to take care of yourself. Examine things that make you feel safe and feel better. Discuss your needs or thoughts with support systems or a professional if you are uncertain.
You are a courageous survivor.
In spite of how you feel now, you are a strong survivor.
There is nothing to feel ashamed about.
Reach out for help. You deserve all the support that’s available.
Sometimes, the circumstances of violence and crime can make survivors question the response they will get from others – whether professionals, family, or friends. All victims and survivors deserve the right to make decisions about what they want to have happen. Help is available. Reaching out to Someplace Safe may be a first step in finding the support and identifying the resources you need to begin healing.